Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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