If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its not stalking. its research.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
