38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
