I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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