They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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