I need help removing her.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
