google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
