I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
