Yo dont text me then not text me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
