I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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