i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We need to get me chipped asap
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
