is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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