Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if i can run in heels then i can drive
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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