so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
