I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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