Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
