I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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