Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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