People in love make me want to vomit
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
