I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
