dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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