She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
