Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
