You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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