why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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