what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
