Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
