hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
