Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
