I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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