What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
