Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just high enough for therapy.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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