is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
either way he was missing a nipple.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
