ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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