Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
