Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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