So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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