there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
