She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
