Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
