Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
