Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think i have two assholes
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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