youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
