cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
