Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize