Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Where is the hickey?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
