I've blown a few things in my day
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
