Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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