No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
