mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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