kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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