Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
